Positive Discipline Incentive Jars

A little post for the moms {and dads} out there!

I want to share with you our family’s positive discipline approach and how it’s working for us.  I got this idea from a friend who saw it on one of the Nanny shows!  She told me about it a while ago, but honestly I kept holding off until I found just the right jars…I didn’t wanna sacrifice cuteness just for good behavior.  Smile!

Ok, so here are the jars (I got the jars from Ikea and used chalkboard paint for the labels:

Aren’t they cute?!  I painted them with chalkboard paint to give me a place to write each child’s name on them. I’ll post the tutorial soon!

Here are the details….

Each child has a jar that he/she works on filling with these wooden craft balls.

{Let me tell you, the search for the right size jar and balls can be exhausting! Also, the ones below don’t have holes in the middle like the ones above.}

Every time one of my children does something right, they earn a ball {or two or three}. They can earn balls for TONS of things….like:

~putting their shoes away when they walk in the front door
~taking their dishes to the sink/dishwasher
~saying, “Yes, mommy” when I ask them to do something
~doing something the first time I ask~helping someone
~cleaning up their toys
~getting dressed in the morning
~making their bed
~putting their dirty clothes in the hamper
~eating a meal without bothering the person next to them
~being the first one to offer to have their teeth brushed
~getting buckled in the car before I do
~saying something kind to someone
~behaving nicely in the grocery store

The list goes on and on…they can basically earn a ball for anything I see them do that’s positive.  You can alter it to make it age appropriate, too….so my 3 year olds might earn a ball for bringing their dishes to the sink, but my 6 year old needs to do it without me asking. And it’s really helpful as a reminder to me to give positive praise for all the normal every day activities that they do right. Even a reply as simple as “Sure Mommy” is worthy of praise…isn’t that music to your ears? 

We need to tell our kids what they are doing right so  they’ll know which behaviors to repeat. 

I find that sometimes I get into a rut of only telling my kids what they are doing wrong. But with this method, I am always telling them what they are doing right.  And who doesn’t like to hear they are doing things right? Even if it’s that you remembered to flush.
Hey, celebrate when you can!

So they earn balls for doing things right.  The balls go into their jars and when their jar is full, they earn a reward.  It usually takes 2-3 days to fill their jar {that’s around 25 balls}.  The reward is agreed upon ahead of time and can be just about anything! For my 3 year old daughters, they are happy with the promise of a bubble bath…or getting to take a shower with mommy…or a trip to the park with daddy…or being the one to pick out any dessert from the TJ’s freezer case…or a movie night, etc.  My 6 year old earns computer/TV/video game minutes when he fills his jar.  Each time he fills his jar he earns 2 hours of screen time: 1 1/2 hours can be TV or computer games and 1/2 hour can be video games.  With this system, my goal is for him to average no more than a half hour a day…and for the most part it works out that way.  Oh and all the minutes are roll-over minutes…so he can save up to watch an extra long movie {teaching him to save and not always go for instant gratification.}

I know other families who use this system successfully with cash as the reward.  Their 4 year old is happy with any amount and is just thrilled to have money. Their 6 year old can blow it spend it right away on silly bands, or save up his money to buy, say, a big Lego set and, again is learning to save and not settle for instant gratification.

And honestly, the younger kids are just happy earning balls.  The reward is really not so important.  It just feels good to be told all day the things you are doing right.  So this system not only works well for the kids, it works well for me…
it keeps me pointing out all the positive in my kids,
even on the tough days!

You know me, I love a party!